SJ Rozan

A guy named Bob, in Brooklyn, posted this first verse on Twitter. It’s sung to “The Very Model of a Modern Major General” from Glibert and Sullivan’s PIRATES OF PENZANCE.

I am the very model of a Very Stable Genius.
I have a mighty button and no problems with my penius.
I have no time for television, golf, or social media
Since my brain is way way better than the best encyclopedia.

We all know I can’t resist a challenge. So I continued:

I’m President, I’m POTUS, I’m a perfect human specimen.
(Excepting for my bones spurs, and those would have decked you lesser men!)
Folks hail me for the pie up in the sky I have opined is there
And praise me when the tax cut gives the millionaires the lion’s share

I said in the campaign the poorly educated man I love
The reason: in the main, he thinks I’m really with him, hand-in-glove
Of course, to Mar-a-Lago is a place only some folks’ll get
It costs you many dollars to be welcome in my social set

Now I’m shootin’ bull with Putin (and he thinks I’m quite intelligent!)
In this White House dump Melania has tried to make so elegant
Melania, she’s beautiful, but Ivanka, she’s just way more so
If I were not her father I would spank ‘er, grab ‘er hot torso

The citizens all love me, I’m more popular than FDR,
Than JFK, than Marilyn, than God or than the motorcar
The Fake News says that isn’t true, but they’re just lying all the time
The evidence I’ve seen all tells me I did not commit a crime!

And because I never give up, allow me to add:

If a man who spouts this crap is someone you think is just full of sh*t
A narcissistic pussy-grabbing racist loony mental twit
Then seize the chance to work for Dems, electing every and each
So we’ll control the House when finally the time comes to impeach!